Rose, Thorn, Bud

Well, hello, fellow hunker downers. How y’all doin’?

It’s the eleventeenth of Quarantinuary, and I’ll be honest, the fact that Spring seems to be stuck in quarantine like the rest of us is starting to get on my nerves. Like really get on my nerves in an irrational, “things to bring up with my therapist” kind of way.

The weather has a definite impact on my mood. All the rain and overcast days make me want to hunker down with a good book and a cup of tea or binge my way through Arrested Development. Again. But alas, want-to’s don’t pay the bills, so here I sit in my home office, staring at the neighbor’s dog barking at a squirrel that may or may not have just pooped on him working on a story for The Online Mom.

I took a minute to scroll through Facebook on my lunch break, and at least three different friends posted that coming out of quarantine means we’re all going to be one of three things – a hunk, a chunk, or a monk. I get the hunk and chunk, but I’m missing the joke on monk. Is it because you gave yourself a bad haircut, nothing fits except your robe, celibacy is your new norm, and you’ve started making your own wine to get through the day?

Anyhoo, that’s not why we’re here. Unless you want to talk more about bad hair cuts, how your muffin top has morphed into a bundt cake, or day drinking – keep the celibacy chatter to yourself – this is a family show.

Anyhoo again, every year, I choose a word that represents something in my life I need to work on – in the past, I’ve chosen “boundaries,” “courage,” “faith,” and “creativity.” As 2019 wrapped up, I decided that in 2020, I was going to work on being intentional. No more skidding into my day like I missed the school bus, no more heaving myself off the couch at night after staying up watching one more episode or reading one more chapter, no more eating my feelings like I’m going to fat camp in the morning and this is my last chance to eat all the things.

I’m sure it will come as a surprise to exactly no one that intentionality was ousted by complacency pretty early in 2020.

To course correct, I’ve started doing a little self-check up when I go to bed at night and again after I do my yoga in the morning. Rose, Thorn, and Bud is a mindfulness tool my friend Shannon shared in a Bible study I’m part of. It can be as quick or as long as you like – the purpose is to help identify things in your day that are positive, negative, or have potential. It’s also an excellent way to track your mood and help you identify unhealthy patterns in your thinking. It’s a simple formula.

• Rose: What was the highlight of my day? What did I accomplish, what am I proud of? How was I successful?
• Thorn: What went wrong? What made me feel stressed, held me back from accomplishing my goals, or caused me pain?
• Bud: What am I looking forward to? What energizes me? What possibilities do I need to nurture and grow? 

Your answers will look different from mine, and they’ll vary from day to day. Last Monday’s answers look like this for me:

• Rose: I checked off everything on my To-Do list for today.
• Thorn: the dog quietly vomited her joint supplement and the leftover salmon I hid it in at the foot of my bed, which I discovered when I stepped/slid in it on the way to the loo at 3 am.
• Bud: I definitely have fodder for a new blog post.

My whole goal in Rose/Thorn/Bud is to be purposeful in approaching my day. I had become pretty apathetic about certain areas of my life long before quarantine hit. I don’t need a global pandemic to make me sprawl on the couch with the dog, a blanket, remote, wine, and a very large-no-I-don’t-want-to-share-you-should-know-better-by-now-bowl of popcorn.

My husband Roy psychotherapist as well as a pastor, and he’s often struck by the number of times a clinical practice is rooted in Biblical principles. That shouldn’t surprise us – Ecclesiastes 1:9 tells us there’s “nothing new under the sun.” Over and over, professors and seminar leaders would point out techniques and practices that are straight from the pages of Scripture.

The mindfulness techniques that I practice are based on Psalm 90:12, whether its creator realizes it or not. I like the way the Amplified Bible translates this verse – teach us so that we can cultivate a heart of wisdom. There’s that intentionality again.

That’s my challenge for you today. When you lay your weary head on your pillow tonight, try Rose, Thorn, Bud. Celebrate your wins, forgive yourself for your misses, and remember that tomorrow is a chance to grow.

Look at you go.