Haters gonna…get out of my way

Did you know…

• A record producer at Decca rejected the Beatles and instead backed Brian Poole and the Tremeloes.
• Back in 1975, a technician at Kodak invented a prototype of the digital cameras we now use, but the company refused to market the camera because it undercut profits from film and other core products and services.
• Blockbuster refused to take Netflix’ approach to streaming movies seriously. The last remaining Blockbuster closed in 2014, while Netflix currently has over 150 million paid users around the world.

Life is full of missed opportunities. Sometimes the timing isn’t right and all the pieces aren’t in place. Sometimes we don’t have all the information, and sometimes we let fear dictate our actions.

Sometimes we let the opinion of someone we trust – whether we should or not – have undue influence over our choices.

I had a blog a few years ago – heck, for a while there, who didn’t? I blogged about my faith, being a mom, my role as a pastor’s wife, and how we’re all just making it up as we go along, no matter what our social media says. However, I allowed someone whose opinion used to matter to me convince me it was “really just a waste of everyone’s time and more than a little self-serving.” Ouch. 

What I’ve since learned is that real character is not unlike a fart. Yeah. I said a fart. I never promised this blog would be high-brow. This ain’t The New Yorker.

You see, an individual’s true character, no matter how hard they try to hide it or hold it in, will eventually reveal itself. Sometimes, it’s just a whiff of something off-putting, other times it’s silent but deadly, as in the case of my former friend. To be fair, this single comment wasn’t the deal breaker, I’m not that fragile, but over time, their passive aggression and subtly vindictive behavior was exposed.

I distanced myself from them, and frankly, neither of us grieved the separation. I don’t miss the relationship and I’m confident they don’t miss me. Neither bears the other ill will, but neither do we seek to reconnect. Forgiving isn’t forgetting, but that’s a blog for another day.

I quit blogging. I still wrote for my freelance clients and for my role as a content creator at my church, but not for myself, and not for the audience I had built for my blog. I missed blogging. I missed that connection with an audience. I missed that “Yeah, me too” feeling authenticity and transparency brings.

In Act IV of Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar, Brutus says:

“There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; omitted, all the voyage of their life is bound in shallows and in miseries.”

I chose this quote for a couple of reasons. One, Brutus was a trusted politician and statesman under Julius Caesar yet was a conspirator in his murder. Be careful who you trust and be careful the weight you give another’s opinion. But more importantly, Brutus’ words remind me that I have a choice to stay in the shallows and be miserable, or I can take charge of the situation, seize this opportunity, and use my gift as a writer on the platform God has given me.

T.D. Jakes once said, “Nothing your haters say about you matters if you can remember what God says about you!” Why did I let that individual’s comment keep me from something that I loved for so long?

One word. Fear. What if they’re right? What if no one reads it? Who cares? It’s my passion and I love it. What if it is self-serving? Who cares? It’s cheaper than therapy and safer than day-drinking.

So here we are. Some of these posts may be a waste of your time. Not everything I write will resonate with you, but I promise some of it will. What I can guarantee is that every one of these posts will be self-serving – everything I share will be a lesson I’ve learned or I’m still learning.

If you stick around, I promise there won’t be too many more fart analogies and I promise I won’t clutter my posts with Shakespearean quotes in an effort to make you think I’m the most smartest. There will be frequent references to my dog, my sainted husband, occasional references to my kids – with their consent – and a common theme of gratitude to God for the life and opportunities I’ve been given.